#XD30 – 8

III – A ROAD NOT TRAVELED

It was days like this that G kicked herself for choosing Chance.  Nights like this, when she looked aimlessly into the night for answers and got nothing.  When she wasn’t with him, she wondered how he was doing with her; and how life would have been if she would have been the one Jayce came home to every night, instead of Michelle.

Jayce and Giselle have  been close friends for about five years now.  They had known each other from their old neighborhood, and found out that they were going to attend the same college.  They immediately linked up and became close ever since.  Jayce was the sweetest person that G had ever known.  She wasn’t one to cling to just one person and she didn’t keep many friends, so having Jayce through college was a good thing for G.

After they had graduated, they stayed in the area; Jayce had a pretty good job offer for a marketing firm, while G had decided to go to graduate school.  They were living together at the time, so they could save money.  The more time they spent together, the closer they became.  G could feel the emotions beginning to creep in for Jayce, but she didn’t know if she was ready to take it there or not.  She knew Jayce was the total package, and literally everything she wanted in a man, but she was caught between gaining a lover and losing her best friend.

One day, the moment she dreaded came.  They were having their traditional Friday night movie night, when Jayce asked her the question she had been praying to avoid this entire time,

“Have you ever thought about me being more than just a friend, G?”

G felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, “what do you mean, Jay?”

“Well, I know you’re not blind to the chemistry, G.  I’ve been feeling it lately, and I figured instead of me sitting here wrecking my brain about it everyday, I might as well just ask you about it” he said.

G took a nervous sip of her drink.  She was searching for the words to say, but nothing was coming out of her mouth.  She knew the awkward pause would crush him, but she just couldn’t get the words out in time.  She knew she wanted to see what things would be like with him, but she was so unsure.  Before G could open her mouth to finally get her thoughts together, Jayce cut her off.

“Nevermind, G.  It was a crazy thing of me to think of” he said, laughing it off; trying to keep as much of his pride in tact.

“Jay, I didn’t….”

“I know, G.  It’s cool.  It’s sort of a weird spot to be in.  Truthfully, I wouldn’t know what to do with those feelings either.  All I know is, I wouldn’t want to lose you as a friend” he said.

G gave him a half smile and they continued to watch the movie.  A few weeks had passed and Jayce had moved on as if they never had the conversation.  He later introduced G to his new girlfriend, Michelle.  G tried her best to be happy for Jayce, but inside, she knew that she had lost out on possibly the opportunity to be with a pretty good guy.  G always wondered if there was a shot down the line, and that maybe Jayce and Michelle were just a fling, but when she noticed she was spending more and more time at the apartment, G decided it was time to use her savings and get her own place.  Jayce was finally happy and had moved on; and G finally realized that she didn’t have a chance.

About a year or so later, G met Chance, and she thought that she had met Jayce’s match, but when G first introduced Jayce to Chance, he immediately didn’t approve.  G had arranged for Jayce to meet them at a restaurant for dinner, so that she could introduce her best friend to the man who had stolen her heart away.  The dinner had went pretty well, and G thought that Chance and Jayce had hit it off pretty well.  “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all” she thought.  After dinner, there was a whole different opinion.

“I don’t like him” Jayce said.

“What?  Y’all just spent two hours laughing and crackin’ up in each other’s faces and NOW you’re telling me you don’t like him?  Why is that?”  G said.

“I just don’t” Jayce said back to her.

“Oh, so if he’s not you, then you not gonna like him, huh?” G shot back at him.

Jayce rolled his eyes.  They were standing outside of the restaurant while Chance went and got the car from the parking lot, “I just don’t get a good vibe from him, G.  Something about him just doesn’t sit well with me, that’s it.”

“Well, everyone isn’t perfect, Jay.  I mean, he may not be everything you want him to be, but so far, he’s been treating me great.  Shouldn’t that count for something?” G said.

Jayce let out a deep sigh; he could tell she would never understand.  As Chance’s car pulled up to the curb, he gave her a peck on the forehead and said, “I don’t want to argue with you.  I love ya, baby girl.  If you approve, then I approve.  Call me and we’ll double date.”

We embraced and then we walked me to the car.  As I got into the car and Chance drove off, I watched Jayce watch me ride off with a man he had second thoughts about.  I didn’t realize how important that type of protection was until now.

Jayce being my best friend meant I needed his approval on Chance, but something inside me told me maybe I should have listened to his advice about him.

Sitting with him in the car now; I wish I would have listened to his gut back then.

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