Lately I’ve been feeling frustrated behind the fact that I’ve had no real time to sit down and write endless hours and hours of words down towards my next two books (i say both simultaneously because they both seem to flow into each other). So much of work and my personal life have felt a bit time consuming and I haven’t felt like there was a lot of time to really do a lot of writing; and when I could get to my laptop, I could barely get any words down on the screen; which would only leave me even more frustrated that I didn’t have but so much time and couldn’t get that much content out. Also, my health has somewhat taken a bit of a priority and sometimes it eliminates me from having the energy to want to sit in front of a laptop screen and type, so I have been forgoing my writing time for naps and rest.
At one point, I had one of the most gut-wrenching thoughts; I wondered if I should just quit while I was ahead. I wouldn’t necessarily get rid of the content I wrote (now that’s just crazy talk), but just let go of the notion that there was enough drive in me to write right now and table my publishing in 2017 dream for another time. I’ve been feeling like there wasn’t enough time in the day for me to write like I truly would like to and that would only push me further and further into a hole of deadlines and eventually, I would be too far gone. I felt hopeless, thinking there wasn’t enough hours in the day to spend on my books, because I was so busy doing things that were more important, like the things that were required of me to be a functioning adult and live to keep my lights on (lol).
Eventually, I had to sit myself down and remind myself of one critical thing: there’s always time if you make it. You have to make the time for what you want, no matter how little. Even if it’s only on weekends, and you may want more; you have to take what you can get, be excited about it and love it for what it is. Even if I can only write for an hour before the sun rises on weekdays before any of my real work happens, I have to make the most of that time. Sometimes life doesn’t award you the opportunity to spend endless hours doing something you love to do more than anything else on this planet, but you have to compromise. Like most things we love in life, we have to make sacrifices and concessions for what we love.
So to those who moments when I think I don’t have any time at all to write, I have to remind myself; there’s always time. Even the smallest amount of time is MY time, and I have to make it count for something.